saying I don't care

I just got so darn inspired by some vlogger today that I just had to create a new post by myself. And yeah, I do miss english. And recently someone has told me, that all I've wrote here for a few past months or so, is just sadness? I could say so... But that sure doesn't mean that I'm sad all the time (though I have my moments of sadness every once in a while) - it's just that I do not waste time thinking 'bout myself and my problems (plus writing that problems down) when I'm happy. The thing is - when I feel good I also automatically feel like being productive. And then I go drawing, studying, playing, vacuuming, brushing my hair etc. Oh, I also love to polish my nails =D Just for the sake of colouring. Well, that explains why I don't write "happiness". Oh, and I forgot to mention - I am NOT sad today =D (though I felt depressed for a few moments while walking across Drava - but doesn't matter)
Maaaaan it feels good to write in english again!! (please, be gentle with comments about my grammar - I know it's not perfect... But doesn't imperfection makes perfection perfect?!! =D - okay, that doesn't make any sense...)
However, I'm strangely confused and happy and satisfied today. And the thing that makes this great is, that I shouldn't be satisfied with myself but I still am. =D I just have one of those days when I simply don't care. And, yes - the world is better when you don't care. And when I remember wednesdays rehearsal for a school play, it makes me laugh. Man, I was stupid =D And until I decided to go home from that rehearsal (because it was pointless to stay - there was just 4 of us (out of I don't really know how many students))  I really tried  to act "not-stupid". And it went well... Until I stepped out of the door. And the door were almost closed. Then an asisstant for materials (who also participates in our play) had to make sure, that he remembered my name... "Aleksandra, right?" (And I only put my head through the door): "Yeah, That's me - Aleksandra." And then he (how kindly of him) reminded me, that we will see again tomorrow. And I was like: "Oh, we will????"
And yes, we did see again the next day - we had practice for materials with him.
But that's not what it went in a "stupid-direction". The thing is - I became soooo confused (of course, because I didn't have a clue about that practice) that I didn't just say "Goodbye everyone, see you next time" (which would be apropriate).. NO... I said goodbye like 3 (or more) times (probably I wasn't sure if everyone heard me..) And just before I closed the door, I also said "Goodnight". I SAID GOODNIGHT AT 6 in the afternoon! (as if students go to sleep at 8...) Well, I instantly began to feel awkward, so I closed that damn door, and ran down the stairs.
Well... When I think of that moment of confusion, I smile. =) Yep, that's me...a confused creature.
We did have another meeting for play today. And I was late (of course...) Everyone was already sitting in a nice half-circle (is that even a word?). And I just sat down at the back of everyone. And I wasn't really talkative (not in a way I can be). And now I think that everyone probably thinks I'm just shy as hell and quiet as hell and....... However I think that they think I'm boring. That I'm lame.
But as I said before!!! =D I don't care.

Uuuu I don't care what you think as long as it's about me. The best of us can find happiness in misery. =D (That's what Patrick (Fall Out Boy-Patrick) sings in a song (well who knew!) I don't care.
Hmmm... I could put a video in here. Well, there you go! Enjoy.